Portrait of a Tot

/a This is my son who has been a wonderful blessing in my life. My children are God's special gifts that keep me from losing hope in my darkest moments. I drew this picture when my son was two years old.

Men of Courage by J. Wallace

Throughout history,
At their moment in time,
Arose men of courage,
Of spirit, and mind,

Who spent themselves
In pursuit of the Truth.
A defining character,
Irrefutable proof,

Of an existence greater
Than the sum of our deeds,
The failures of ignorance,
The desperate pleas

Of civilization wronged
By its own petty fears,
An anguished rage,
Wasted years;

Men judged by criteria
Irrational and false,
Not considering the pain,
The injustice, or loss,

Men who died young,
Before they could see
Their battles almost won,
People almost free.

One day we'll realize
How foolish we've been,
To wage senseless wars
No one can win,

And stand before our Father,
Who according to plan,
Created us brothers,
The Family of Man.

(Dedicated to my father and to Dr. Wilson Bradshaw, Dean of Metropolitan University, Minneapolis, Minn.)

An update:
This poem won first place in the literary contest sponsored by a Florida University.

A Search for Meaning

To live for the mement is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, to live for today at your best is an important part of what Jesus taught. It is a key component of the mindset needed for personal fulfillment with a sense of purpose. Though times have changed since Christ walked this earth, human beings basically have not. What was true then concerning the actual nature of reality and what part our lives play in the course of human history remains true, even as you read these words on your computer screen at this moment.

Most people today would admit that their lives are confused. Shoppers will scan the tabloids to see if Brad Pitt wants to play house with Angelina Jolie, if Jennifer Anniston really loves Vince Vaughn or is just using him, or if Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie will ever forgive and forget and mend their friendship--and yet not know what is wrong with their neighbor, why her son will not come home or her daughter needs therapy, and what they could do to help. People confess the most intimate details of their lives to complete strangers on the Internet, and are emotionally distant with the members of their own families. They converse obsessively on cell phones, oblivious to the suffering they are surrounded by in the streets of most cities, and wonder why their lives are empty. Churches plan expansion programs to cater to the culture and "wholesome Christian recreation" of their congregations, while countless poor members of their communities, especially children, are hungry and without proper medical care. People are willing to work on their bodies, their entertainment centers, their cars, and yards, the beautification of their homes, improving their health, their chances for economic success--and ignore their faltering relationships.

A recent article in the New York Times describes a growing psychiatric problem in today's youth observed by a respected psychiatrist. More and more young people are exhibiting symptoms of a fragmentation of their personalities and psychies, a disassociation and emotional seperation not only from their families and other people, but from their very selves. Without a firm foundation of care beliefs, values, and ethics, they are cast adrift in society--not sure from one minute to the next what they believe or think, what is absolutely right or wrong, out of touch with what they feel or should feel. They manifest in their behavior what they have interpreted to be the most situationally specific, socially appropriate and politically correct emotional response to a given target audience or peer group--like an actor on a stage. These contrived theatrical personalities are closely tied to a constantly evolving media-dominated, popular culture, constantly changing like the headlines of supermarket tabloids, and just as shallow. They sometimes speak of themselves in the third person, as if they were referring to someone else or an imagined self. Like the video games they play or music videos, movies or television shows they watch, their lives are not firmly rooted in reality and might as well be a figment of their or someone else's imaginations. This psychological disorder is symptomatic of a pervasive and growing problem in today's society, the alienation and disillusionment of modern mankind--and yet, it's accompanying questioning of long-held beliefs and the very nature of reality (think "Matrix"), can actually be a step toward discovering abstract, deep philosophical, theoretical and theological concepts that have been taught for centuries. (TO BE CONTINUED)


Second Segment

Nothing is as it seems! Science acknowledges this truth. Theoretical and Quantum Physics tells us that atoms, the building blocks of everything, are comprised mainly of empty space. Discovering that electrons do not have mass, photons of light sometimes behave like particles and other times like waves, most of the universe's mass which creates gravational forces essential for the functioning of the cosmos cannot be accounted for, mysterious particles like neutrinos which do not appear bound by the regular laws of nature, etc., scientists now admit that they do not have the answers. Most of what they observe at the subatomic level cannot be explained. Albert Einstein realized that gravity can warp time, space, and light. Even our observances of natural phenomena are not to be taken at face value, measured data being "relative" to factors characteristic of a given observer one moment in the Time/Space Continuum only.

The passing of time was even revealed to be an illusion, an unsubstantiated concept resulting from distances traveled through space, noted by simplistic human perceptual systems and conceived in finite minds "relative" to their surroundings. In other words, much of what we use to determine what our lives are about, our "reality", is not to be trusted. We "see through a glass darkly", seldom fully aware of what is really happening around us and what impact our lives are having in the scheme of things. Ancient religions like Buddhism and Hinduism realized this truth concerning reality long ago; philosophers throughout human history postulated this possibility long before science caught up. Jesus expressed this theme in many of His teachings to illustrate an important point: All we really have is this brief moment in time to make a difference. The past is gone forever and the future never gets here. Worrying over past mistakes, failures, missed opportunities, or future potentialities, agonizing over what has gone before or what may befall us tomorrow, is a waste of time, actually squandering needlessly the few precious moments we have now. Jesus promised that God, like a good father, would take care of all of our essential needs as His children. Like children, we are to seek and abide in the constant security of His presence in every moment of our days, the bliss and comfort of this security exhibiting itself through our lives and drawing others to Him. We are to trust Him completely with everything and, with the time this trust makes available, live in the ways Jesus taught us to give our lives meaning--to love the Lord our God with all our hearts, our minds, our strengths, and to love others as well. The fact that we exist at all in the scheme of things is nothing short of a miracle. Jesus explained that there is nothing we can do to add to the significance of this, other than fulfilling the purpose for which we were created, every day, every moment we have, (that is to bring glory to God's holy name) until He returns.

J. Wallace

I encourage you to read the other entries on my blog and give me your thoughts about these topics, either as comments here or write to me at:

Jeffrey Wallace K02412, Dm. E3203U
Polk C.I.
10800 Evans Rd.
Polk City, FL 33868-6944

My Purpose:

This blog will be devoted to the life and times of an individual incarcerated by the Florida DOC. My story differs from the usual situation of inmates in that, due to forces ourside my control, I experienced a tragedy that caused me to be removed from my home and family. Never having been in trouble with the law authorities, I found myself in a situation in which my actions were judged erroneously, and all I had to give to society was diminished. I continue to work at my art and writing, commenting on social and religious realities, while attempting to expose the shortcomings of the judicial system of this country and the State of Florida.

My Artwork

I almost completed this mural for Dr. Patricia Barkley, my friend and counselor, the psychologist at Avon Park C.I., before the hurricane hit last year. We were both in the psychology doctoral program at Nova University, Ft. Lauderdale, FL, in the early 1990's. She was pursuing a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Counseling and I a Clinical Practice Psychology Doctorate. The mural was to have a therapuetic theme: at the top was to be written "Don't Miss the Boat!", and the boat was to be named on the back "Serenity." Dr. Barkley loves seascapes, so it fulfilled several objectives.